A JOHN JUGHEAD PUNK ROCK DRESS CODE
(Dos and Don’ts thought lost but eventually found in a crusty box buried in the ashes of the headquarters of Panic Button Records)
Listen kids if you are looking to be a star pupil of punk rock and not an outcast amongst the members of your own scene, do not do as I have done, but as I tell you.
1. Do not wear baseball caps, especially ones turned backwards, and adorned with the horns of an imaginary dragon. And under no circumstances wear a derby or a fedora.
2. Do not wear baggy shorts with little marvin the martian prints, or anything other than tighty-whiteys, unless you want other punks who have never really intellectually graduated from high school to give you an atomic wedgie, even when you are all 50 years old.
3. Do not cary a backpack, even if you are the accountant for the band and it’s the easiest way to keep the money with you without looking obvious, like carrying around a cash box.
4. Do not, not, have a leather jacket, especially fo…